Beauty For Ashes
One Womans Story About Abortion
By Martha Schaale
When I was growing up, my home was a very chaotic home. My father was a very abusive man. He was a very angry man. He drank. I grew up very frightened of my father. I can remember at nights when I would be in my bedroom and my younger sister and I would share a bed together. Outside of our bedroom wall, we would hear the fighting, the arguing taking place. We would be so frightened as little children. I can remember us holding one another and just crying together because we were so frightened.
My dad left when I was eight years old. We were pretty much left to raise one another while my mother worked two to three jobs to support us. Because she was gone so much, I did not have an authority figure in my life. I never remember being disciplined. If we as parents fail in our responsibility to teach and train our children, then the world is just waiting. The world is ready to take us by the hand and lead us down that path of destruction.
As I went into my teenage years, my teenage years were years of rebellion against my parents and against God. I drank alcohol. I took drugs. I led a life of immorality. I even shoplifted for years until I was caught and taken to jail.
But do you know what I was doing? I was looking to the world to give me what could only be found in the Lord. I wanted joy and I wanted happiness. I wanted someone to make me feel special. I wanted someone to make me feel like I had worth and I had value.
I met Rich, who is my husband, in June of 1983. Three months into our relationship, we began having an immoral relationship. In March of 1984, I went to Planned Parenthood to get on the pill. It was then that I found out that I was pregnant. As I heard the news, I could not believe that I was pregnant. I was shocked.
All of a sudden, I started listening to these lies from the enemy. “No one can find out.” Sin causes you to want to cover and to hide. There’s so much shame. What will people think of me? My focus was on myself and myself alone. I didn’t think about that precious life that God had blessed me with. I kept thinking, “If Rich’s parents find out I’m pregnant, they will reject me. They will not want anything to do with me. They will want Rich to break it off with me.”
His parents were very godly parents and I loved them. I just knew if they found out I was pregnant, they would advise their son, “You need to break this off with her.” I was so afraid that I was going to lose him. He had become my savior. I told myself, “I can’t do anything to hurt our relationship.” How ironic, because that’s the very thing that I did!
I didn’t have anyone in my life to encourage me to do what was right. The world says, “It’s okay. It’s legal, so it has to be okay. It will only take a few minutes and it will all be over with. No one will ever have to know. It’s not a baby. It’s not a life.”
Do you know what, ladies? The world lied to me, and the world will lie to you. They don’t care about you. The world does not care about me, and the world did not care about me or my baby.
I remember going to Rich and telling him I was pregnant. I took control of the situation. I told him, “Rich, I’m pregnant and I’m going to have to have an abortion.” The enemy convinced me that that was what I had to do. I felt backed up in a corner with only one way out. Of course, I took the way of the enemy.
I had an abortion, ladies. I murdered my baby. I sacrificed my baby for a relationship. Even up until the time that I walked through the doors of that clinic, deep within my heart and my soul I was wanting Rich to stand up and say, “Martha, no. We are not going to do this. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I love you. I care for our baby. That baby is a part of me, too. We’re going to do what is right.” But that never happened.
You know, I thought I could be like David. I thought I could hide and cover my sin and go on with my life and no one would ever know. Those few minutes that it took for me to have that abortion would not compare to the long-term emotional pain I would experience over the years.
Ladies, having an abortion affects every area of your life. One out of four women have had an abortion. Four thousand, four hundred babies die each day by abortion. Over 36 million babies have been aborted.
As I thought about the national tragedy that occurred in our country on September 11, thousands of lives were taken. Our country has come together. We’ve prayed together. We’ve wept together. We’ve grieved together, as we should. I don’t want to take away from anyone’s loss, because that was a horrific loss.
But do you know what? God showed me that week that there is a tragedy occurring in our country day in and day out. Over 4,000 babies are murdered each day, and our country does not weep. Our country does not grieve, but our country goes on. It allows this tragedy to happen day in and day out.
